NLP Practitioner Training Courses | Experts Forum - Coaching and Mentoring

NLP Coaching | Frame

michaelbeale@ppimk.com — Tue, 11 May 2010 07:12:41 GMT

Beginning Frame

A Useful Guide to Using NLP as a Coach | Extract 5

The beginning frame incorporates rules for the coaching session, expectations of the coach and client, boundaries and anything which the coach and client may define as an over-arching aspect of the relationship. It establishes the focus of the session. By addressing and aligning the unspoken assumptions between coach and client you can then both work more closely towards achieving a shared set of outcomes.

Some questions that a good coach would insist that the client thinks about may include:

What do I want from this coaching process?
What do I believe that a coach can do for me?
How we can get the very best result for both of us from this coaching session?
Do I trust the person I’m working with?
Am I prepared to be open and honest enough during the interaction to get full value from it?

The presenter’s opening statement, as well as the assumptions of the client creates a frame of reference. Beyond that, two presentations could be identical in content, yet the audience would interpret them differently - Focusing on different pieces information, drawing different conclusions and most importantly - taking different courses of action.

The beginning frame also links the individual coaching sessions into a longer journey and ensures that issues are not necessarily neatly ‘wrapped up’ just to bring the session to a close.

If we cannot agree an acceptable frame with our client at the beginning of the coaching intervention, we may well refuse to continue with the session.

More to Follow

NLP Coaching | Framework

michaelbeale@ppimk.com — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 12:10:31 GMT

A Useful Guide to NLP as a coach | Extract 4

A NLP framework for coaching and mentoring

A framework is a guide, enabling you to put your full attention on your client. It serves to remind you where to go next and helps you to keep control of the coaching session and relationship. Improving your ability in just one of these areas can make a significant difference to your impact as a coach or mentor, whilst developing in more areas will have a cumulative effect.

It can be useful to consider each elemement sequentially

Beginning Frame

The beginning frame is the establishment of the rules for the coaching session, expectations of the coach and client, boundaries and anything which the coach and client may define as an over-arching aspect of the relationship.

State

Ensuring your state is appropriate for coaching will make a huge difference to the goals you set and achieve and the personal resources that you can call upon.

Outcome

Outcomes motivate you to move in a particular direction rather than being a specific end result as in SMART objectives.

Rapport

Rapport is a state of honest, open communication between two or more people and is very important in establishing the client’s situation and way forward.

Current Strategy

By accurately understanding how you are currently moving in relation to your goals, you can make any changes necessary to move further, faster.

Technique or Task

What will take you from where you are now to where you want to get to? The coach will have a number of tools and suggested tasks for helping a client fill in any internal and external resources required to achieve his or her outcome.

Future Pace

A future pace is an imagination exercise that develops a detailed connection between the coaching session and action in the real world. It is one of the key determining factors in achieving results.

End Frame

The end frame closes what was started in the beginning frame; it also allows the coach to reinforce the positive elements of the session and the coach and client to step back from the session and manage the longer term coaching relationship.

NLP elements for use in the framework

The following NLP elements can fit anywhere in the framework to support you. Elements are key aspects that can be focused on during the coaching process.

Values

A value is a label for what is important to you at a core level. These may be very different to corporate values which can tend to be rather generalised.

Value Rules

Value rules define how your needs are met in the outside world and how you know whether your values are being achieved or not.

Beliefs

A belief is an underlying assumption about the world which either helps or hinders you in achieving some outcome.

Senses and submodalities

All of our knowledge and experiences are acquired and organised through our senses. Understanding how we structure those experiences is key for change. In NLP our senses are sight, hearing, feeling, taste and smell. Submodalities are identifiable qualities of these senses – such as light and dark for sight.

Hypnotic Language

You can unlock creativity and gently influence with the use of language borrowed from the world of hypnotherapy. Hypnotic language enables the coach and client together to create the foundation for personal change and development.

Time

NLP can assist in image-making exercises that help to look at events and experiences from different points in time and perspectives, which is very valuable in planning for the future.

Stories

Stories have a unique structure which conveys complex information very effectively through simulating cause and effect within a given context.

Profiles

In NLP, ‘Meta Programs’ are used as a way of predicting a person’s general preferences for relationships to people and events and can be used to increase rapport, influence and persuade.

Modelling

The heart of NLP is modelling; the process of systematically coding and transferring knowledge from one person to another – Emulating characteristics that successful people have shown in order to get results in defined areas - combining both logical and intuitive approaches.

Ethics in NLP, Using this eBook: Extract 3

michaelbeale@ppimk.com — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 23:12:30 GMT

Are there ethical considerations in using NLP?

Extracts from a Useful Guide to NLP for Coaches Continued....

The more we practice NLP skills the more able we are to influence people. This gives us a responsibility to use our skills to lead both ourselves and those that we interact with in a useful direction, and to be aware of the impact we may have.

The definition of what is a useful direction is of course a very personal decision, and it’s worth investing our time in advance to ensure we are congruent with the stance we take.

It is also worth remembering that we've all learnt at some level to be aware when someone is trying to manipulate us in a way that isn't aligned with our beliefs and values - and normally we resist it strongly.

Anyone who uses these skills in way that isn't ethical is likely to get the full force of that resistance. Conversely, If we use these skills to help people achieve what's important to them we are likely to get their genuine thanks
Some of the skills in this ebook are simple yet very powerful. Use them wisely!

How do I best use this ebook?

Reading alone is unlikely to help you become a really good mentor, coach or NLP Practitioner, however what a good book can do for you is act as a map and guide that will you on your journey and give you pointers that will significantly speed up your development.

While there are many ways you can use this book, the people who get the most value out it are likely to skim through it, do one or two of the suggested exercises, and then work through the same exercises with a colleague and review the results you both get. They're likely to find one or two 'coaching' and 'mentoring' role models and work through the modelling approaches with them, then start the book again and read it from cover to cover.

The other approach is to use some of the coaching questions in the book to develop your own ‘coaching question set’ for either your clients or yourself.
Please be aware that while the book asks these questions as questions for the coach to ask his or her client, they can be just as relevant to the coach.
It is the experiential understanding you develop from working through this ebook and exercises that will make the difference.

In this ebook, I will share with you a framework for coaching with NLP which you can use as a guide for further reading or as an approach to coaching in itself.

Within the framework there are a number of elements which cover some of the most important principles and techniques that you would learn during NLP Practitioner training.

By combining the structured framework with the flexibility of the elements, you can learn to coach in a far more effective and rewarding way.

NLP has it’s own vocabulary which will be explained as it arises. In addition the reference section leads to a complete glossary of NLP terms

More to Follow

What is NLP? What does it add to Coaching? What makes a good NLP Coach?

michaelbeale@ppimk.com — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 11:46:20 GMT

Extracts from a Useful Guide to NLP for Coaches Continued....

What is NLP?

NLP is the exploration of how we think, communicate and change - so that we can model, replicate and improve performance. NLP's core competencies are about:

1) Attitudes that produce results
2) Modelling (An important NLP approach discussed on page 43)
3) Techniques, so we can transfer the results of the above

It's not NLP that's important it's what we do with it.

NLP is different from other personal development approaches in that:

1) It is modelled from individuals who were experts at helping others change

2) It takes into account how we connect to the world through our sensory experience and how we store and change that experience through using our minds and bodies

3) It is highly effective at connecting conscious and unconscious resources, leading to individuals connecting to their �untapped potential.� NLP combines logical, sensory, emotional and intuitive thinking to enable you and your clients to reach theirs goals more easily.

4) NLP is as much about �unlearning� and �letting go� of what we�ve previously learned that is now getting in our way, as having to learn a lot of new material. Most NLP is �natural and �obvious�. Unfortunately we often have to experience the results ourselves before we realise it

It�s worth remembering that while NLP can and does produce immediate �magical� results, both personally and for business (just look at some of Derren Brown and Paul McKenna�s material), many of the best Practitioners have spent many years quietly practising and refining their craft.

You could therefore treat this ebook as the start rather than the end of your adventure.

What does NLP add to coaching and change?

NLP provides a set of simple and practical tools that will support a coaching relationship. By using NLP�s tools to explore your goals, establish plans of action and make necessary changes in your approach, you will have more skills as a coach, greater flexibility and thereby be more effective.

NLP�s approach supports the latest research which suggests that there are at least three distinct thinking systems in human beings; the �reptilian (stem) brain�, the �mammalian (limbic) brain� and the �human (neocortex) brain.�

It is the effective awareness and use of all these thinking systems together that lead to mastery as a coach � and success in almost all areas of life.
NLP addresses the underlying processes for change rather than the superficial symptoms, and it is based on modelling best practice, judged by the achievement of desired results within their own context as opposed to a generalised view of success or high performance.

NLP helps you, your clients and your organisation to adapt more easily and perform more effectively as a balanced system.

What makes a good NLP coach?

The very best coaching depends on the strength of the relationship between the client and the coach, and therefore depends on the specific context. We have found the following list to be a useful guide as to what makes a good coach:

1) A curiosity about helping people solve their own problems
2) Control of their own goals, not simply serving their clients
3) Life experience
4) Business experience
5) An ability to 'shut up' and give the client room to think
6) An ability to suspend ego, albeit temporarily
7) Developed their own models from other coaches, mentors and clients
8) Formal accreditation
9) Practice, practice, practice
10) Feedback, feedback, feedback
11) Feedback against results, rather than what people say at the time

Good training and coaching enables you to significantly 'build on' and 'amplify' what you're already good at and therefore form an important part in becoming a good coach.

More to Follow

Introduction

michaelbeale@ppimk.com — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 21:54:18 GMT

A Useful Guide to NLP as a Coach

:oIntroduction

Why is this ebook worth your time?

You may have seen many books, ebooks, websites and newsletters on the subjects of coaching and NLP, promising instant results.

You may have experienced many training programs that promised to give you easy answers and foolproof recipes for success.

And while you may have realised that none of this was realistic 'as stated on the tin', you still wondered what parts might work for you.

This book is the result of ten years training, coaching and mentoring rising executives and highlights ideas and concepts from using NLP in a coaching and mentoring context that have helped people move towards their ambitions and dreams.

If you are genuinely interested in your own development, in getting the most from your career and life and playing your part in your business and it’s aspirations then this ebook will be an important step forward on your journey.
This ebook is written for you as both as a rising executive and coach and also recognises that being a coach may also be part of your own personal journey of learning and development.

What could you get from reading this ebook?

A firm grounding in coaching and NLP

Ideas that that, when taken on board, will make a genuine and positive difference to and for you

Perhaps even the start of an exiting new adventure which will result in a step change in your career and enjoyment of life

Some powerful and pragmatic questions to ask both as coach and client
While this ebook is titled ‘A useful Guide to NLP as a Coach’ many of the skills and techniques apply to mentoring, leadership, sales, managing change and consulting as well as coaching.

What are coaching and mentoring?

In most of the companies we've worked in at various management levels over the past 10 years, different people have very different views and expectations from coaches, mentors and change agents.

Some of these different views make it harder to establish the benefits and distinctions of these interventions and yet also underline the need for different approaches based on an organisation’s varied and changing needs.

An organisation and its managers have a very wide range of needs and in order to serve those needs we have to identify the professional roles that can support organisational development and change.

Change at the individual or organisational level follows the same underlying pattern and what matters are the abilities of the person facilitating that change as a coach, mentor, consultant and leader.

All of these roles perform the task of helping an individual or organisation move from their current situation to something that they aspire to. In an simplified scenario, the client or organisation is in a present condition and wants to move to some other condition. That movement or change requires action, and the role of the coach is to help the client to plan and manage a series of action steps which bring about the desired change.

Part of the coach or mentor’s role is likely to involve establishing the current situation and true aspirations of the organisation or individual. Often, consultants, coaches and managers assume that the perceived current situation is accurate, when in fact it may not be for many reasons ranging from insufficient information to blind optimism or even the deliberate misreporting of performance data. This is dangerous because in order to accurately navigate to your destination, you need to know exactly where you are now.

An ‘ideal world’ coaching model is shown in the diagram above. The generic approaches to coaching that are based on it fail not because of a flaw in the coaching process but because the world is not ideal. Clients are not always where they think they are, and what they want is not always what they really want, and so any action plan must take this into account.

Imagine that you have satellite navigation in your car and that it is telling you to ‘turn right’. You look out of the window and cannot see a right turn. Where is the fault?

There have been many instances of lorries getting stuck under low bridges because the satellite navigation didn’t take that detail into account. The route only makes sense when the present location and destination are accurate, and when the route has a useful relationship to ‘reality’.

Individuals and organisations often set goals that are not true to their actual intentions or aspirations because they are based on the expectations of others. For example, someone might pursue a promotion because of his or her perception of what friends, family and managers expect, even if it is not really what they want. Rather than succeeding or failing, the person ends up in between the two, wasting energy that could be directed into real achievement.

Companies often set a direction based on the needs of the market, their customers, stakeholders and competitors and again try to swim against the current of their own true intentions and needs. The result may be moderate success, but in a competitive market, that inevitably leads to failure of the business or venture.

The value of NLP to a coach or mentor is therefore in having a set of tools and techniques for managing the difference between the ‘ideal world’ coaching model and the ‘real world’ of the client’s situation. Where the client is missing or hiding information that is vital to understanding their current situation, a skilled coach can use NLP to align the client’s perceptions with reality so that any action plan is much more effective in achieving the results that the client seeks.

The organisation or individual client is responsible for wanting and choosing the outcome, for making the change, and for taking a view on the value of the intervention. The coach and mentor agent is responsible for facilitating the change; for identifying the steps and putting forward their recommendations.

The client has to take responsibility for implementing those recommendations, otherwise they do not take ownership of the outcome.

How directive or non-directive that facilitation is depends on the context and the individuals involved. In my experience, change is most likely to 'stick' where the individuals concerned have worked out the answers for themselves. However they often need a few missing pieces, ideas or parts of a strategy to make the change work effectively.

I differentiate between coaching, where the focus is more on a single outcome such as increasing sales revenues or customer service scores, and mentoring where there are complex and often competing outcomes such as managing stakeholders’ expectations or personal career aspirations.

In his book 'The Element', Sir Ken Robinson suggests that mentors have four key roles. They recognise our talents, they encourage us, they facilitate us and they stretch us.

In my experience the coaching that has the greatest value to an organisation is directed at their high performers and key influencers, and that with the continual 'delayering' of middle management, the coaches, mentors and change agents become an important 'knowledge store' within the organisation.
Coaches are often engaged to support ‘high potential’ managers who have been identified as having the raw skills and talent to become the leaders of the business in the future.

Succession planning and talent management programs help groups of high potential managers to build their support networks and develop the skills, relationships and experience to shape the business and ensure its continuing success.

It is also important to allow the organisation to evolve; to ensure that tomorrow’s leaders do not perpetuate today’s cultural issues

Why will coaching become more important?

As organisations become more complex, traditional management hierarchies disappear and the drive for performance accelerates. ‘Top down’ structures are being replaced with matrix management systems. People move around the organisation more often and there is a greater focus on exploiting tacit knowledge over establishing systems and processes. Relationships rather than roles drive the business and the speed of decision making has increased dramatically thanks to new communication technologies.

Amongst all of this, many people no longer enjoy a consistent management relationship and must look elsewhere for their personal and professional development.

A coach can support targeted changes in the business such as increasing sales performance or managing change whereas a mentor can be a longer term guide. Both supplement the traditional management structure, enabling a more flexible, more adaptable and more successful business.

In working with hundreds of clients and colleagues in dozens of companies, I have found that people who succeed in the corporate environment:

Develop a good relationship with and add value to their managers and manager’s peers

Develop a good relationship with and add value to their key stakeholders

Develop career options and revenue streams that are separate to and non-competitive with their current employer

Improve performance in their current role

You may be surprised by point 3, yet when you think about it you may recognise this in yourself or some of your colleagues. What many people do is to ‘hedge their bets’. They have one foot in each camp, saying they are committed to their manager yet reading job adverts at lunchtime and accepting calls from recruiters. They dream about what they want to do and resent their manager or employer for not letting them do it.

People who develop non-competitive outside interests are often more fully committed to the success of their current organisation.

When they are at work, they are at work, and will be until they either go home for the day or they resign. The people who hedge their bets are present in body but not in spirit, and this is obvious in their performance. The people who commit to those different ventures are open about it.

Coaching and mentoring can be extremely valuable to the individual and organisation in getting people to commit themselves to the pursuit of their goals.

More to Follow

Sir Ken Robinson, Hammer Lectures

michaelbeale@ppimk.com — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 21:23:18 GMT

The Element is the meeting point between natural aptitude and personal passion.

Sir Ken Robinson discusses his book, The Element: How Finding your Passion Changes Everything, the idea that many people don't know what they're capable of, their passion and are not living in their element. Some have found their passion and as such are living what their capable of, in their element. - the book explores both situations and what makes the difference.

Really good for anyone involved in coaching and mentoring.

He suggest mentors serve at least four key roles: They recognise our talents, they encourage, they faciliate and they stretch us.

CEO Mentoring - Judith Germain

michaelbeale@ppimk.com — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 19:42:05 GMT

CEO Mentoring - Discussion between Michael Beale and Judith Germain, December 2008.

Judith Germain FCIPD is Managing Director of Dynamic Transitions Ltd and specialises in developing leadership talent. She has over 10 years experience working with wilfully independent people which she defines as mavericks or Troublesome Talent?.

(You can listen on the following MP3 file, please allow 2 minutes to download)

http://www.nlp-expert.co.uk/coaching...toring-nlp.mp3

Coaching - Kathleen Sullivan Interview

michaelbeale@ppimk.com — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 13:38:01 GMT

Discussion between Michael Beale and Kathleen Sullivan about coaching March 2008

Kathleen Sullivan MA, BSc, DipCMI, DipION, Qualified, accredited life coach...with a great sense of humans

(Please allow up tp 2 minutes for the MP3 file to download if you would like to listen to the discussion)

http://www.nlp-expert.co.uk/coaching/kathleen.mp3

Michael : Good afternoon Kathleen.

Kathleen : Hi Michael.

Michael : Firstly let me thank you very much for taking part in this podcast so our listeners can hear a little bit about who you are and what you do.

And just to start off, can you introduce yourself and actually say a little bit about who you are and what you do.

Kathleen : My name is Kathleen Sullivan, I run a coaching business which is KS Coaching. I'm also a co-director of the London Coaching Associates. And the work that I do is mainly with individuals, but also with groups. And I suppose it is a coaching strategy to give people better clarity - to give them the confidence that they need to make changes, but also the commitment in order to see those changes through, and it's really in any area of life - whatever is important to them that they come to me for coaching.

Michael : And what experience do you have that makes you think that you're credible as a coach?

Kathleen : I suppose that I've really built my coaching business around the background that I've had. In training and international project management. So for a few years I was visiting the former Soviet Union and coaching a group of doctors how to not just work individually, but as a team.

And before I set up my coaching business I was based at the Imperial College in The School of Medicine, and we were delivering a lot of overseas training and teaching in the former Soviet State. And I was also teaching participatory approaches to change, for some of the MFC students at the Imperial.

and I've always had a very strong commitment to help people and I have an MA from the University of London in Education and International Development in Health Promotion, but I also have a background in business studies and international sales, as I took a degree before I left the US to come to Europe.

I then went on to do a coaching diploma and then training with in NLP with you.

Michael :Can you add a little bit about the types of companies, and the sorts of people that you've coached, and some of the contexts that you've coached them in.

Kathleen : Well the contexts - I think one of the most glamorous contexts for me was - I was working with an International News Bureau Chief and he was being coached every Wednesday afternoon if I remember rightly. And at one point he told me that he was going to be heading over to Iraq as a Bureau chief, and he would be away for four weeks, so I said 'Ok lets reschedule for when you get back.'

and he said 'Oh no, no, no, no, no! I need to carry on my coaching while I'm away'

I didn't know about these interesting army contracts.......

I've been working my way through some of the chief management staff and the support staff of the First London Primary Care Trust, so working with finance directors and teams, doing individual and group coaching - and seeing a lot of happier and more fulfilled people in that organisation as I worked through there.

I had a contract with a New York based client and that was really a whirlwind change job as I remember it. I mean, she was really able to turn her life around in just a few months, and as a result became a much happier and more successfully woman. I coached her through a tricky divorce, which wasn't much fun but it's what she wanted and she got there a lot quicker than she would have done on her own trying to figure out how to do it.

And another favourite - we all have our favourite clients. Another favourite was a GP client that I was working with, And I found that really rewarding because she really managed to make so many significant changes and really get what she wanted, both in her personal and her professional life. From going from a local to owning a few GP practices, and now having a baby and living with her partner - lots of different changes happened there.

Michael : Why do you think coaching is important in life and business today?

Kathleen : I think that the thing that coaches can really bring to people is really that support function, but also the time to really focus. I think that we are so fast-paced, and I know that everybody says that, but I really do believe it - the email, the web, everything is so immediate all of the time - and just to stop and think about your life and what you want to make better and different I think is very valuable, and I think for business's - business's are made up of individual people and I think our role as coaches is to support individuals who then in turn inject the right kind of professionalism into the organisation.

Michael : I have to say, I like your idea of getting people to stop and think. I think that's incredibly important. Moving on, looking at some of the detail of coaching - you mentioned before you sometimes do it on the phone, I'm assuming sometimes you do it face-to-face, but where and when do you coach?

Kathleen : I coach on the phone, in the kitchen at my home in west London, I go to organisations, I go to their workplace and coach people - normally in a waiting room or some kind of chill-out room they might have with a comfortable sofa I also do group coaching with larger groups of people.

And my favourite I suppose is walking-talking coaching, so I actually do life-coaching on the trot so people can go out for an hour, get some exercise, their body is getting into gear, but they're also being coached at the same time.So that's for double-taskers, that one.

Michael : Moving on from that, what are some of the top level behaviours? What are some of the top level things that you do as a coach to help others?

Kathleen : You can't coach without really respecting people. So I really do respect my clients and I really do believe in them, I believe in their dreams and I believe in their wishes - whatever they want to make happen in their lives, I believe that is is possible for them.

And I suppose there are some rituals that I go through - but that's no so 'top-level', but I think that it's important as a coach, to actually prepare yourself for a lesson, just as the client is preparing themselves for the session. So really taking my attention fully to the client, really making sure that they have all of their information to hand that they've had a session preparation form to set the scene.

And I suppose that the higher-level there is really letting them take the lead, letting the client guide me in order to get the right outcome for the session.

Michael : Moving on from that - what kind of skills do you think that you have that enable you to be a good coach?

Kathleen : I'd like to think that I'm good at establishing immediate rapport with people. So really being able to lock in with a client quite quickly is quite important, otherwise you spend a lot of time trying to get to know the client to see where they're coming from. And I do that through all of the tricks of the trade really. They come quite naturally - matching the voice tone, matching the body posture, using similar words that they're using, mirroring their body language - things like that.

And I think that I really do like people - and it's not just people really, really successful, the real go-getters out there who embrace change - I also like people who aren't feeling that great, and have had a bit of a knock-back, and really helping them see that they can make positive changes - I love seeing that happen, I love seeing the coaching working.

And I suppose there's a bit of curiosity - I'm a bit curious about people and what makes them tick, and how they got to where they are, and where they want to go and why, and all that. There's a little bit of a curiosity there as well.

Michael : If you were going to teach somebody how to coach what are some of the absolutely key things that you would suggest to them?

Kathleen : They have to absolutely enjoy working with people. If there's somebody who likes balancing budgets, spreadsheets and numbers, then coaching probably isn't for them - from nine to five, or nine to nine, they want to be sitting across from somebody and hearing other peoples problems.

I think for me it was about drawing on all of the experience that I had - so rather than throwing away everything that you've achieved in your life, actually seeing if you can use that in your coaching - maybe finding a niche that builds on a particular past experience. that you can have.

And really getting the best quality training that you can get. I think that's one of the most difficult things, just constantly holding myself back from signing up for the next course or doing the next thing. Really, just keep training yourself. Keep believing that you don't have all of the answers, that you don't have it all already - and I think that's a big danger, when you think that you do know it all, and that you've learned everything there is to know in coaching or whatever area of personal development that you're working in.. That's a bit of a danger I think.

Michael : That leads very nicely onto the next question. As you're coaching somebody, what do you believe about yourself?

Kathleen : About myself, I believe that the approach that I use does work, and I have to believe in the whole coaching process and that me as a facilitator of that process, I can do it and do it well.

Coaching is all about asking the right questions or the powerful question, the questions that are really going to move the client on. And I suppose that's one thing, not forcing it, just opening up to it. Believing in it, having faith that that question is going to come to you. Not preoccupying myself with that.

And I believe that I'm a really good coach, that's what I believe.

Michael : And what do you believe about the people that you're coaching?

Kathleen : I just believe that anybody that I'm coaching, they do have the answers, they do know what they want, and they do know how to get it. and they will get it.

Michael : Do you have a specific mission when you're doing this - I mean, who is Kathleen when you're coaching?

Kathleen :I think Kathleen is probably somebody with quite high standards, so I'm always going to aim to give my clients the same standards, that I would expect from my own coach, so I always want to give them my absolute best. And I also think that Kathleen is going to be somebody who is very professional in whatever they do, and I will take them very seriously, but I will also try and have fun with them and let them enjoy the session as well.

Michael : Ok, some different questions about coaching. Do you use a specific methodology?

Kathleen :I think generally I'm very none-directive in my approach, and if it's right at the time I'll use a particular framework that's called T-Grow but with a lot of tweaks and changes that I've introduced myself as I go along.

I can go through that with clients that have an interview or a big presentation to give, then they want me to be very directive. And if that's what they want than that's what they get. I can be quite bossy with them I suppose, and really try and draw out, and extract the best in them.

But generally speaking I am non-directive, and that means that I don't have a particular agenda with the client, that the client is actually going to set the scene. and i will go wherever they want to go with that session.

Michael : Looking at coaching in general, what do think are some of the biggest challenges that coaches face today? And how do you deal with those yourself? So firstly what do you think are some of the biggest challenges in coaching today?

Kathleen :I don't know if it's just today, I think generally in coaching, there is this confusion sometimes that when people think about getting a life-coach or a business coach, or an executive coach they think it's like having a psychotherapist or a counsellor, and they're a bit tentative, and they don't want to go that way. They think it's an admission of failure, perhaps.

So I think the challenge for coaches is to keep demonstrating constantly what we do. Whatever we're doing, constantly marking ourselves out as an autonomous profession in our own right - so that would be about regulating the profession, and raising the standards at every opportunity.

I think today, in terms of now, the challenges might be about making coaching more affordable. So meeting the needs of more groups of people in more intuitive ways.

So maybe using podcasts, and online books and things like that, that can be a lot more accessible to a lot more people.

And I think it's a fast-changing profession. there are just so many new approaches that are constantly changing. Like I said before about upping my skills and going on the next training, I think that's another challenge - just how many different things there are out there to train in.

Michael : So how do you deal in that yourself?

Kathleen : Well, from my stuff I suppose I get recommendations from other coaches that I respect and I sometimes have to put them all onto my training budge - but always having that in the budget, that I'm going to have training, that I'm going to do it. every single month maybe.

So it's about balancing it really, as best I can.

Michael : If you were going to choose a coach for yourself, or when you choose a coach for yourself, what are the characteristics that you look for?

Kathleen : I do like to take them for a test drive, I feel like I have to have a taster session or something with the coach, before I sign up for a whole group of sessions. I'll look at their websites and their materials, and if they don't have a professional, high-standard website, then I'm probably not going to sign up with them - that's a personal thing.

I would look at membership in professional organisations. Some of the really good coaches out there, you here about them, it's a word of mouth thing. So I would talk to other coaches to see what they were recommending.

But yes, taking them for a test drive is probably the place that I would start.

Michael : I appreciate that this is a bit of a strange question, but I'd like you to have a go with it. If you had to describe coaching as a sort of fairy tale story, with fantasy animals or cartoons or whatever - How would you describe the relationship between a coach and client?

Kathleen : That's a very Michael question I think. Let me think.

Well there was this little cartoon character growing up in America, I don't know if you had it or not - it's called 'Casper the Friendly Ghost' over here. So I would say that for me it would probably be something like Casper.

Friendly, obviously. But the Ghost as in that invisible character there in the background somewhere, that you can't necessarily see but somehow you sense that their presence is in the room.

There's the light touch of making some magical things happen, and it's all quite mysterious, but it does happen. And i come out of the sessions feeling much happier as a result.

If that works for you then I'm going to go with Casper the Friendly Ghost.

Michael : I rather like that. I shall think of you in a whole new way now.

Now before I ask for your contact details - is thee anything about coaching that you would either like to emphasise, or is there anything important that you feel like you've left out and that maybe you'd like to bring to people attention?

Kathleen :Probably to answer that I would say that if we're talking about Life Coaching, I would say that life coaches really need to reclaim their words, that title, 'Life Coach'

I think there's been a lot of trying to call yourself something else professional, an individual coach, a personal development trainer or whatever, consultant. And i think that if we just could just stick with the name 'Life Coach' because that is what we do., we coach people through their lives, and be proud of the title, rather than hiding behind some kind of mask.

So I think that would be one thing. And for clients I would say, perhaps just stop thinking about whether or not they need help from a life coach and just give it a go - give it a trial session, do two to three sessions and see what happens. Because I think it's like a lot of things, that when you do try it, you see that it can help with a lot of things and get some really amazing results, and have a happier life as a result.

Michael : And would you like to give everybody your contact details?

Kathleen : It's probably easiest to just go to the website. and that's KS Coaching and they can send me an email which is Kath@kscoaching.co.uk and if they want to take me for a test drive they can take me for a free coaching taster session and that's just a 30 minute session over the phone, which can be arranged quite easily.

Michael : Absolutely excellent, thank you very much indeed.

Kathleen : OK, you're welcome. Thanks Michael.

Coaching - Mary Gregory Interview

michaelbeale@ppimk.com — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 22:24:37 GMT

Coaching - Mary Gregory Interview

Discussion between Michael Beale and Mary Gregory about coaching, February 2008

Mary Gregory works with CEO's and their teams to enable them to create and implement the strategy that will fulfill a compelling future vision for their business.

(Please allow up to two minutes for the MP3 to download if you want to listen to the discussion)

http://www.nlp-expert.co.uk/coaching/mary.mp3

Michael : Good morning Mary.

Mary : Hi Mike.

Michael : For our listeners can you introduce yourself and say a little bit about who you are and what you do.

Mary : Yes, thank you. My name is Mary Gregory and I'm a leadership coach and change agent, and I work with leaders in business to make changes happen within their organisations, transform their results, and particularly work with their teams to help them be aligned to their visions for the future.

Michael : And what gives you credibility as a coach?

Mary : Well I've been working in this area of personal and organisational development for over eighteen years now. My background is quite psycho-therapeutic. Originally I worked in child and family psychiatry, as a play-therapist, and then moved into the travel and leisure industry where I gained a lot of commercial experience, and became a trade manager.

And for the last fourteen years I've been running my own consultancy, working with trainers and the more lately as a trainer than coach. So I've worked at some quite specific change projects to support organisations being more active.

Michael : Building on that, let us know some companies and contexts that you've coached in.

Mary : More recently I've worked with HBOS, who are implementing a culture change programme so that people could push back and give their opinions back to their leaders, rather than the one-way-down type of cultures. And I was involved in coaching the leaders in that particular division to enable them to develop themselves and the behaviours that might be effective in that new culture.

Michael : Why do you think that coaching is important in business today?

Mary : Why is it important in business today? Well I think that a lot more is expected of everybody in business today. That it's still a pretty competitive marketplace, people are having to innovate and constantly looking to do more in the services they're providing.

Coaching is not only a means of support, but also a really unique relationship that helps the clients to step and really have a look at what they're doing and what they're achieving in a completely different way.

Michael : Do you use coach yourself?

Mary : I don't have a coach at the moment, but I have had coaches in my time, yes.

Michael : What have you got yourself out of using a coach?

Mary : I think the freedom to just say exactly what I want to say without feeling that I'm going to be judged. Also there's the unconditional support which is absolutely invaluable. And also the ability to step back and take a different angle on things - you know when you're looking at something and you can't see it through the trees? Being coached is so valuable to help you look at it from a different perspective.

And then also being held accountable for taking the actions that you want to take.

Michael : Now lets look at you coaching others. When and where do you coach? Is there a type of location that you prefer?

Mary : I tend to go out to see my clients. And I can see them on their work site, but I prefer to see them off site if possible. Because I think that supports my clients, and is more relaxed and free. I might see them outside the organisational setting, I might see them within it, it depends on what the context is.

Michael : Moving on from that - very top level answer - if you were going to teach me, or teach somebody to coach what are the key things that you'd ask them to bare in mind? Or to do?

Mary : Well there's things you do and there's also things you're being. You can't leave that alone, you can't let go of that bit. But what you'd actually do is listen. I think that the most important thing is to listen. And to be able to listen really effectively you have to be really present with your client.

We all have things going on in our lives, and there are times that we can be really present and other times that we're not. So quite often we can go up into our head and have conversations with ourselves. Like when you're stuck in a traffic jam, and you want to get somewhere, and you go up into your head and you're talking to yourself, you're not really present at that moment -because you're having a conversation in your head. When you're with a client, you need to be clear of all of that.

You need to create an open space so that you can listen to the client and come from nothing in order to listen to them, to support them to take things from a different perspective.

It's like the term 'getting into the flow'. When they get into the flow, they're really present and you're really working with the 'what is' with your client. And that's a very powerful way to be when you're coaching.

Michael : So you've got flow and listening, what other behaviours do you think is absolutely essential as a coach?

Mary : The ability to ask really good questions. Questions can serve all sorts of different purposes, like gaining information, in terms of coaching I think questions that will stretch your client to consider things from a different perspective. And to access information and ideas that they wouldn't necessarily of accessed before. So questioning is really important.

Michael : What skills do you think that you have that enable you to do this well?

Mary : Well I think I have all of those skills. I certainly can listen well and I'm pretty good at asking questions.

I think the other things that I bring to the table, or that my clients tell me that I bring to the table is that I can create rapport instantly with people, so I can really get them to feel comfortable, and okay to open up about things that they want to talk about.

Also I'm particularly perceptive and give good feedback. So if people want to know how they're coming across, I can tell them pretty accurately. And on top of that I think I'm pretty tenacious as a coach, so I won't be beaten, and I won't let my clients be beaten either.

Michael : Was there anything that happened to you that enabled you to be good at this?

Mary : Is there one 'Ah-Ha!' moment? There isn't, no. I would say that what has enabled me to become really good at it is just working on my own development.

It's about developing mastery, and that doesn't come overnight without having discipline, and to keep flexing those muscles that will enable me to be skillful at it. You don't go to the gym and expect to transform your body in one visit, it takes a good few months and a lot of hard work, or similarly to be a really good coach I think you need to be working on your self - I think you need to have a high level of self awareness, and also that you're comfortable in refreshing and renewing your skills.

Michael : What do you believe about yourself when you coach?

Mary : That's a really interesting question. I think - what do I believe about myself? I believe that I'm there to support and enable clients, so I'm always looking at how a client can make a difference for themselves, I don't encourage the client to be dependant on me, I want them to be able to take things up and do them for themselves. So I believe that I can enable them.

I believe that I always come from a place with good intentions around a client, and even if I'm giving, what some might say is tough feedback, it's all from a place of wanting to contribute to them and make a difference.

Michael : And what do you believe about your clients.?

Mary : I believe that they have the solution. That they can do it themselves. I believe that they want to find the right answer for them and make a good job of it.

Michael : Do you have a personal mission or vision when you're doing this? Who are you when you're coaching?

Mary : Do you know - it's funny - stepping out of coaching I've had very clearly had a personal mission creating organisation and places to work, and really unlocking peoples potential. But when I'm actually coaching, that all disappears, I really focus on just being with that person. So I'm not coaching for a particular mission when I'm coaching.

Michael : Some more questions about coaching - do you use a particular methodology?

Mary : I have a variety of methodologies and various models that I can call on at different times. It all depends of what shows up in the space - so I'm trained in Neuro-Linguistic Programming I also use Transaction Analysis for Parent-Child Communication and Gestalt therapy, I've got a real broad spectrum that I can draw from, and it's all integrated for how I work with my client.

Michael : So how do you choose what to use?

Mary : I think from a very intuitive place. This is why I think being present is so important, because if you're being present with somebody it will just all flow - and if something comes up it must be really appropriate to share with them - for example if a client is having problems with his team being very dependant, or that might be something you'd share about parent-child communication - because if you communicate in a parental way, people may respond in a child-like, more dependant way.

Michael : What do you think are the biggest challenges that you face as a coach - or coaches generally face - and how do you handle them yourself?

Mary : One thing I think coaches can say, and one reasons in training myself to be a coach is that we get too close to the issues and sometimes we can get too close to a client in a way because its very easy to find yourself sometimes canoodling. I wouldn't say that anybody does that intentionally, but when dealing in the psychological field things go on in all sorts of different ways and sometimes you can't see what's going on, and that's I'd say that supervisions is a very big part of any coaches business development - they need to be regularly supervised, so they can share what's happened with their clients and so that they can get another perspective.

Michael : If you were to work with a coach yourself, to work with you, to further develop your skills, how would you know who to choose?

Mary : Well for me - how would I know who to choose? Well I'd like to think that they're a pretty experienced coach. I'd want someone who is genuinely interested in others, and won't spend the whole time talking about themselves and what they've achieved - that would be the complete opposite as to what I'm looking for. I'd be looking for someone that can stretch and challenge me, but not in such a way that I feel demoralised.

Michael : This may be a curious question. But if you had to describe coaching as a story with a fairy tale, or fantasy characters, how would you describe it?

Mary : I can't think of a specific fairy tale that would illustrate coaching, but I would describe it as you being the Good Witch. So it's like the client is going through a forest, because they want management change, and all sorts of challenges are ahead of them - they can't see whats around the next corner, they don't know who's friendly and unfriendly, all of that - and what a coach will provide them with is different tools, that will help them deal with whatever challenges they've been faced with.

The Good Witch might give them the shield of Valor that protects them from whatever dangerous forces there are around or - I think I'm thinking about the film Narnia, how they all have different lotions and potions that they used, that helped them get through all of the challenges that they were facing. So it's a bit like that I guess.

Michael :Before I ask you if there's anything that you'd like to plug and for your contact details, is there anything else that you'd like to say about coaching ?

Mary : I suppose what I think is really important about coaching, particularly coaching in business is that you might at times go on a journey with your client and what's happening is an emerging process -but when you're coaching you always link it to the organisational goals - there has to be something in it for the business as well as the client - I think it's important to emphasise that. Because often I think people can take the view that coaching is a bit airy-fairy, it's not business focused, I think it's really important in the corporate world that it does have a very deep benefit for the business, in order for people to buy into it.

Michael :And what are you doing now that you'd like to plug for our listeners?

Mary : A few things. We've just had our website launched, which is www.playhamlet.com and PlayHamlet is our product which is all about team alignment, which with leaders, enables them and their teams to create a compelling vision and then to do that together to make sure that vision gets implemented.

And for my own site which is Executive Coaching / Leadership Training / Life Coaching / UK which is at the moment being revamped, I want to go about setting up a blog on that site as well, so I'm quite excited about that.

Michael :And your contact details?

Mary : Phone number, 01923 261964, or my email is mary@marygregory.com

Michael :Thank you very much indeed.

Mary : My pleasure thank you

NLP and coaching - Lindsay West Interview

michaelbeale@ppimk.com — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:35:34 GMT

NLP and Coaching

Coaching - Discussion between Michael Beale and Lindsay West, November 2007.

Lindsay West is an executive and career coach, a management skills trainer and mentor to business owners. she runs her own practice LWCS is a founder director of London Coaching Associates.

(Please allow up to 2 minutes for the MP3 to download if you want to listen to the discussion.)

http://www.nlp-expert.co.uk/coaching/lindsay.mp3

Michael : Good afternoon Lindsay, if I could firstly really thank you for taking part in this conversation, and if we could kick it off by you giving a brief introduction to yourself and what you do.

Lindsay : Yes, certainly. My name's Lindsay West and I have a coaching and training practice, LWCS. I'm also the director and founder of another company London Coaching Associates. I offer coaching services to individuals to help and support them in achieving their personal goals whether they're to do with their home lives, in their relationships, or to do with their career.

I also do training and management skills and things like stress management and time management. And also a mentoring service to small business owners. So that's pretty much what I do on a day to day basis.

Michael : And what experience of NLP do you have?

Lindsay : I'm a master NLP practitioner, I trained with yourself at PPI. I've been using NLP in my coaching techniques for over three years now. I also use NLP myself to help me overcome my problems, achieve my goals and keep a positive state.

Michael : And generally, how do you think it's helped you?

Lindsay : Well it's helped me myself in a lot of ways. I do use NLP techniques myself on a day to day basis, and in terms of my coaching practice I use NLP techniques to support my clients - for example helping them to change their state or their attitude. Helping them in solving problems, overcoming limiting beliefs, things like that - and visualising their ideal life.

Michael : Can you just expand on one of those and fill it out a bit?

Lindsay : Yes sure. One of the sessions that I run with one of my clients is looking at their ideal life - to help them look forward to the kind of lifestyle, including home, work or career, that they want to have. So we look at their outcome, we look at the goals that lead to that outcome, and we visualise that, and use we use sensory acuity, and use the senses to make that picture as real as possible.

And then I combine that with a backward timeline to help them work out what they need to be doing differently and what steps they need to take to make that happen.

Michael : And what sort of response do you get from your clients?

Lindsay : Very positive indeed. All the clients I've used it with have found it very, very helpful. It gives them a real good picture of where they want to get to and makes that goal really realistic to them and and makes it very real I think.

Michael : Taking a sort of wider picture of NLP and maybe looking at yourself - if I was to pick three areas which is - 'building in your current career.', 'expanding your current career.' or 'enable you to move into different things' - which of those segments do you think it's helped you with?

Lindsay : Certainly building my current career. The NLP techniques that I use are in combination with my coaching skills. They help my clients to make small changes very quickly and that has a very big difference, makes a very positive impact to their lives.

So my clients come back for more, and they also recommend me to other people. So it certainly helped me to build my coaching practice because I keep my clients for long periods of time and I'm constantly getting new clients so it's really helped with building my coaching practice.

Michael : Looking at things other than NLP, what else do you think has helped you become successful in running a coaching practice?

Lindsay : Well certainly the coaching training that I did has been hugely beneficial. Also having contact with other coaches and having their support has been very helpful.
Working as a team with London Coaching Associates I work closely with three other coaches, so we're there to share our resources and our skills and support each other.

Feedback from clients as well is really important. You can understand what benefit they're getting out of it and things that haven't helped them much and you can adjust that for future clients.

Michael : Looking back to the NLP side, what advice would you give to anybody thinking of starting NLP training?

Lindsay : I would say definitely do the practitioner training course. People talk to me about NLP and say 'Oh I've read a book on it' or 'I've read some information off the web on it and I was quite interested.' But until you really start using the techniques in a safe and supported environment as you would on a training course, you really don't get the experience of NLP.

So I would say definitely do the practitioner training. Actually using the NLP techniques and also having people use them on you, that's really important too - so you can feel what it's like to have those techniques and the different aspects of NLP working on you so that you can see what that means for a client and the massive impact it can have on you.

Michael : And what advice would you give someone that's just finished their NLP training?

Lindsay : I think that the most important thing is to use the techniques and to use NLP in terms of your own language and your attitudes and so on, as much as possible. It's like anything really, if you don't use it there's a tendency to loose it.

So I would say definitely practice as much as possible. Definitely make it part of your every day language, you're everyday way of doing things. And use techniques in whatever aspect of your life it's appropriate. So definitely use is as much as possible to keep the skills.

Michael : And before I ask you for your contact details so that anybody that wants to can contact you - is there anything else that you'd say as far as NLP or coaching, for anybody that's looking at these sorts of fields?

Lindsay : Well I've certainly found it a very rewarding career both using coaching and NLP, because of the benefits you see in other people.

My previous career was in bank and finance, and while I thoroughly enjoyed the job I had, it didn't personally give me the reward I get from having a coaching practice.

So I would say to look at what's important to you and what you want to get out of a career and go with that - and I think for me, coaching and using NLP has given me that.

Michael : Excellent. And your contact details?

Lindsay : My contact details - my website is www.lwcs.co.uk my email address is lindsaywest@lwcs.co.uk my telephone contact details are 02083731127 and my mobile 07795975980.

And my other company address is www.londoncoachingassociates.com

Michael : Excellent, thank you very much indeed

Lindsay : Thank you very much Michael.