Richard La Ruina (Aka Gambler) interview

Discussion between NLP trainer Michael Beale and Seduction trainer Richard La Ruina. January 2008.



(Please allow 2 minutes for the MP3 file to download if you want to listen to the discussion)

http://www.nlp-expert.co.uk/seduction/richard_l.mp3

Michael : I'm really pleased that we have Richard with us this afternoon, who's written 'The Natural Art of Seduction' and runs live training sessions in London .

Richard : Thank you for inviting me.

Michael : Can you kick off by giving our listeners a bit of an introduction to yourself, a little bit about your background and what you do at the moment?

Richard : Sure, my name is Richard La Ruina and I'm currently a fulltime trainer, I train men in how to be better with women, and we do this in a different way to life coaches and other people, we actually train guys in practical, usable techniques.

We demonstrate for them on women and we actually take them out and hone their skills until they're able to do the things that they come to be able to learn - for example getting dates, getting numbers, being more attractive, we'll give them a guide to fashion, we'll work on them in every way.

And as well as doing that I run the business, I've just written a book the book that you're talking about 'The Natural Art of Seduction'. My background is that I was actually very bad with women myself, and I had to learn all of this stuff from scratch. I was someone that was bad socially, I was painfully shy, I was an introvert, and I was kind of stuck in a rut - I didn't have the ability to make friends, and I didn't have the ability to socialise, and of course I didn't have the ability to meet women, get them attracted to me, get dates, to be interesting on dates, and all these things that are very important in having a happy love life.

Michael : And how did you actually get into the seduction business? You obviously went through some transformation.

Richard : I think a lot of guys have heard of Ross Jefferies, and I did actually see his materials a while back, he does NLP for seduction basically - and I was studying NLP, the old Bandler and Grinder books and those sorts of things, but I didn't actually take it seriously, that wasn't the turning point for me.

The turning point for me when I met an American seduction-guru by chance in Leister Square, and he recommended some books and websites, and that started my journey. At first it was just six months of just staying in my house and reading books and watching videos and listening to audio, and after that it was applying that in the real world in London.

Michael : Moving on from that, in your book you mention three characters, Mr Sociable, Mr Comfort and Mr Seducer, can you just talk a little bit about them and particularly the sequence that they could be used in?

Richard : Sure - the basic idea is based on the type of customer I get and just the problems that I normally encounter when I'm teaching someone. These are normally guys that are interesting, they're nice guys that would make a good boyfriend, and they're unable to demonstrate that to a girl in the first few minutes - they start the conversation in a boring way, they ask lots of boring questions, and they're very low energy - and it makes them very hard to get started, to get the good first impression.

So the idea is, that they're good when they're in a one-on-one situation, when they're comfortable. And that's actually later on in an interaction with a stranger, that's maybe half an hour in the middle of it, so what they need to do is they need to develop these extrovert skills, these qualities of the sociable person, and this comes in the first character which is this fun, sociable guy.

His job is to be more interesting than what they are doing currently. So if they're talking to someone that's bored by a tube station waiting for someone, it's going to be quite easy to be more interesting than that. However, if you're talking to some girls that have been drinking, they're in a big group, they're in a loud environment, it's going to be tougher.

So the idea is to give them a toolkit so that they can adjust how interesting they are, how high their energy levels are, so that they have the ability to start a conversation and get to the point where people are engaged with them and do that consistently in all different environments. So that's the job of the fun, sociable guy.

The second character is Mr Comfort, and his job is to connect, to find reasons to see that person again, to get over this surface level banter that we have with our hair dresser, and with our aunt that we see every six months - and get down to really what makes that person tick, their motivation, their character traits, their emotions, these things.

The third character is The Seducer, because I found a lot of men were having the problem of making friends with a woman that they really wanted as a girlfriend, and it was happening because they were missing that point where they needed to escalate things and needed to put in some sexual tension, and to go for the kiss, so they also need to learn the characteristics of someone who is very seductive.

And have the ability to inject sexual tension into a situation, so that a woman that's sitting there thinking 'this guys interesting' starts thinking, 'actually I'd like to kiss this guy.' 'Is he single?' 'Could he maybe be my boyfriend?'.So the three characters are a way of applying a structure to a woman that you've just met, with the aim of progressing through the stages of being two strangers, of being in a conversation, and then eventually taking things to the point where you could see them as a romantic partner, and go for the kiss. And this kind of thing.

Read full interview: Richard La Ruina on seduction